It's Friday. Sex?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
