oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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