I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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