I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
