so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Pappa wants mamma naked
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
