At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
