WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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