In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize