oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
