Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Randomize
