im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
