I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
