I puked a lego.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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