I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
