if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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