Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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