Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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