matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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