so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Found the puke drawer
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
