It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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