So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
