In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
