I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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