it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
