Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
