i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
