I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
