This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
