Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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