I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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