The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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