"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
