Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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