Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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