It's just like the Real World with babies
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
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he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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