maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize