My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
