how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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