"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
