If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
All I want is dick and wine.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
