so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
