He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
