I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
