I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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