there were more penises there than on chat roulette
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
