Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
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