cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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