well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.