Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
