ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
