plz talk dirty to me
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
