Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
