We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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