remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
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I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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