I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
