Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
