I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
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just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
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No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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