oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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