Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
do nipples grow back?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize