I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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