I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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