Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
