i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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