She went from zero to smokin in five shots
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize