Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
