at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
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I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
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If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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